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In this interview, we learn that, thankfully, the story doesn’t end there. Clay and his wife, Renee, share their story of God’s healing power of love and forgiveness that set them back on the road to restoration and redemption. This journey of hope has led them to establish Holy Homes, a new ministry in which they call every believer, through the power of God’s Word, to live out holy homes, holy marriages, and holiness in our personal lives.
BOM: Clay, tell us about where you grew up and the heritage you come from.
Clay: I was raised and have lived in Memphis Tennessee for most of my life, with Nashville being my second home.
BOM: When did you first discover you musical gifts? Who were your musical influences that inspired you?
Clay: I remember singing with my cousins at family get-togethers. We would sing harmonies and I really enjoyed the sounds I was hearing. Pretty soon I was singing solos at church and at school. It didn't take long before singing became my dream. I liked Larry Norman and Second Chapter of Acts alot. Then the band U2 came along and I just kept getting more and more into music.
BOM: What was Clay’s life like before you started singing professionally? Did you ever have that sense of “there’s got to be more to life than this?”
Clay: There were certainly times when I wondered if God would allow me to "make it" or go into music full time. And yes, it was frustrating, but I was always very realistic that the odds are stacked against such a dream.
BOM: How and when did a major label like Reunion Records “discover” you?
Clay: Veteran Christian singer, Gary MacSpadden, first showed interest in me and introduced me to his son, Shawn, and son-in-law, Ron Smith, who began managing me. After a few years of toiling away, we made the connection with Reunion records.
BOM: So here you are, signed to a major Christian label, a Dove Award-Winning Artist, and a #1 hit single like “I Surrender All.” The momentum keeps building as you’re catapulted further into the Christian music industry. What was going through your mind with all of this happening to you?
Clay: I was very aware of what kind of odds were being broken down by me experiencing these things. It was my dream come true.
BOM: All that attention, fame and success. Was it easy to get caught up in the glamour of it all? Looking back, did it cause you to lose focus of what was really important?
Clay: No doubt about it, I lost my focus. That kind of thing can easily shift one’s focus on themself. And it did.
BOM: You got up night after night on stage singing and telling people about the love and hope that is found in Christ. Meanwhile, as you were singing I Surrender All, there was a part of your life that was not yet surrendered to Christ. Tell us about that struggle and pain in your life.
Clay: Yes, the struggle with lust was one I had battled for years. Not until 1998 did I really recommit my life to Christ and confess my problem with pornography. I know that sounds like a terrible thing, and it was, but looking back I see what an amazing time of growth that was for Renee and me.
BOM: The pressure and guilt in trying to conceal this must have seemed insurmountable and all-consuming. During this time, did it not feel like you were leading two totally separate lives and wondering “how can this be?”
Clay: It's interesting because I struggled with the "living two lives" concept for only a short time. That's because for several years I was so far from God, that I didn't even sense that something was wrong. But in 1998, as I started to creep back to him, I could see the error of my life and that's when the healing process began.
BOM: As with many addictions, like pornography, it’s bewildering how people will justify their actions. They often think, “it’s really not that big of a deal, and besides, it my own personal thing and I’m not hurting anybody else” or “I can beat this thing anytime I want to.” Did you find yourself thinking along these lines?
Clay: I'm sure I did. But eventually when you do that, you begin to see, all too clearly, that you really are a wreck and in need of repair.
BOM: What was the turning point for you? How did God bring it to the surface?
Clay: He used difficulties I was having that year with my singing voice to really drive me to my knees. It was tough not being able to sing like I was used to. It was maddening, but it got me where I needed to be...back in His arms.
BOM: Renee, at that point, did you have any idea what Clay was going through?
Renee: I knew Clay was struggling with something, but I didn't know what it was.
BOM: No doubt, during this time you must have been experiencing a whole gamut of emotions, and understandably so. Can you describe some of these and, more importantly, how you dealt with them?
Renee:I felt everything from disappointment, shock, anger and I also blamed myself. Clay and I talked and cried together a lot during this season of our marriage. We asked ourselves how we got so far off track...and we both knew we had neglected our relationship with God. Turning back to Him and fully relying on Him to save us, filled us with hope. PRAYER, and I can't stress enough, how much prayer changed how I dealt with my husband's struggle. God healed my heart through prayer.
BOM: A conflict of this sort can really test the strength of a marriage. Trust has been compromised and is not easily restored. Only the healing power of God’s forgiveness and love operating in our lives can help us pick up the broken pieces and mend them together again. As a couple, what steps have you taken to get back on this journey to healing and restoration?
Clay: Christianity 101 had to be re-introduced into our lives. In short, seeking Him every day. In His word. Prayer.
Renee: Staying in God's Word and praying together. Those two key principles have changed our marriage for the better. We also serve God together. We see growth in each other and we encourage each other to go further with God.
BOM: Remarkably, an incredible ministry was birthed out of this painful experience called Holy Homes Ministries. Tell our readers all about that.
Clay: It's honest and authentic. That's what gets people's attention. Then we tell them, as straight up as we can, "Run to Jesus like never before."
Renee: God was telling us clearly that HE wanted every area of our lives. Sure we had given Him Sunday morning, but he was asking for 24/7. I Peter 1:14-16 says, "Let yourselves be pulled into a way of life, energetic and blazing with holiness. A way of life shaped by God's life. For God said, 'I am holy, you be holy." He wanted us to be set-apart for His purpose.
BOM: In addition to Holy Homes Ministries, you also wrote a book called “I Surrender All.” What is the main message of the book?
Clay: God will walk with a couple as long as they turn to Him. While they ignore, or categorize Him, they will feel deep negatives in their marriage. That’s what He has shown us in a very clear way. With Him...we win. Without Him....we lose.
Renee: Simply put, the title. I had a woman write recently and she told me that she almost didn't read the book because that struggle of pornography wasn't in their marriage. She told me we need to re-title the book "I Surrender All; Rebuilding a Marriage Broken by _________fill in the blank"
This book is a story of God's grace and His love for us. He is waiting for you to surrender whatever is standing in the way of you and Him having a close relationship. He is waiting to restore, heal, and bring peace.
BOM: Clay, what advice and counsel would you give to men struggling with a debilitating addiction like pornography?
Clay: I encourage them to just be real about the problem. I want to let them know that this problem with porn is everywhere. It slams millions and millions of people worldwide. Even me at one time.
I pray God’s grace and forgiveness in their situation. I encourage them to stay strong in Him. To stay in His Word and to pray. Really pray. To serve. Really serve somewhere. These things are vital in every believer’s life. I know that without them, (HIM!) I was headed down a road that would have destroyed me. By His grace, once I turned back to him in 1998, I began to heal and gain strength and wisdom. Strength and wisdom through Christ! God offers this to each of us if we will humble ourselves and TOTALLY rely on Him. We can’t think that WE can solve this thing. We have to lay it all at His feet! We believers should know that only Christ can carry us through this dark world.
I offer these resources:
www.holyhomes.org (This is the ministry that my wife and I serve in. Check it out!!)
www.pureonline.com
http://www.pluggedinonline.com (Plugged in online is for the “normal” movies. We still must walk in wisdom. Even when we are watching “normal” stuff, not porn.)
www.sa.org
www.covenanteyes.com (I love these guys. Great stuff!)
www.xxxchurch.com (awesome, edgy Christian anti-porn pioneers)
BOM: Renee, what hope and encouragement would you give to women whose spouse is entangled in this web of addiction?
Renee: Clay met a man by the name of Chris Beatty. We talk about him in the book. Clay actually went to him because of his singing problems. This man asked Clay if he was a man of God. He asked him to tell him what he was reading in God's Word. Chris was being led by the Spirit of God to ask someone he had just met, some very tough questions. Without this man's obedience to God, I don't know if we would be doing this interview. This man was pivotal in the change in Clay. He was a man of God, pouring into the life of my husband and I am eternally grateful to him and to God. I encourage wives to pray a “Chris Beatty” into the life of their husband. I know it might sound strange, but God knows who that “Chris” is, and God can bring about a man into their husband's life as well. Encourage your husband by loving him and letting him know you are praying for him. He needs to feel love, not shame, during this time. With God's help, you will come through this storm.
BOM: Clay and Renee, BOM would like to thank you so much for sharing your story with countless readers who will find strength, hope and encouragement for what they might be going through at this time. Your lives are a living witness to the all-surpassing power and love of Christ in hearts that are truly surrendered to Him.
Note to our readers: You can find Clay and Renee’s complete story in their new book entitled, I Surrender All. Visit them online at www.holyhomes.org
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