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It's the beginning of a New Year, the time to take an honest look at our lives and consider making changes for the better. With a little scrutiny, we all can find areas of our lives that could use improvement. January 1 gives us the opportunity to begin anew, to make a fresh start, to wipe the slate clean of last year's mistakes.
For many of us, our marriage relationships come to mind as one of the areas most needing work. Whether we categorize our marriages as wonderful, miserable, or somewhere in between, most of us can identify elements that need improvement. So where do we start?
In Marriage on the Rock, Jimmy Evans outlines four foundational laws from Genesis 2:24-25 which express the eternal and essential truth for marriage. These four laws are the laws of priority, pursuit, possession, and purity. By examining the condition of your marriage today as it relates to these four laws, you will have a good idea of what aspect of your relationship needs the most attention.
The Law of Priority
When God designed the marriage covenant, He did so with the intent that this special commitment between a man and a woman would be more important than any other human relationship. The passage in Genesis 2:24
instructs us to leave (relinquish or loosen the bonds of) our parents when we marry, thus setting a standard for proper priorities. Many of the problems and failures in marriages today are the result of misplaced priorities.
In a marriage, both spouses have moral obligations to God and to each other to protect their relationship from being violated by people or things of lesser importance. We cannot allow our jobs, children, parents, friendships, recreation, or anything else to take a position of higher importance than our spouses.
If you or your spouse has been complaining lately about feeling violated by other things or other people invading your marriage, listen carefully to these warning signals. Make a commitment to reestablish and protect the proper priorities of your marriage.
The Law of Pursuit
When couples first begin to date, they typically work very hard at impressing each other. Careful planning goes into preparing for each date, behaving in a pleasing manner while together, saying the right things, and so on. As time passes and they reach a point of being comfortable, they tend to stop working at the relationship and begin taking it for granted.
Many marriages are in the same position today. The spouses no longer work at pleasing each other; instead, they take one another for granted and try to coast through a marriage void of romantic love.
When God instructed man to "cleave" unto his wife, He knew that the secret of staying in love is work. God's command in Genesis 2:24 is for a man to zealously pursue his wife and to energetically cling to her for the rest of his life. If you will make the decision to pursue your spouse with energy and diligence, you will quickly find it is a labor of love with satisfying results.
The Law of Possession
Marriage is a complete union in which all things previously owned and managed individually are now owned and managed jointly. Anything in marriage that is not willingly submitted to mutual ownership and control will lead to division and problems.
There are many couples who are divorced today simply because they did not observe this law of possession. They refused to surrender their money, time, family, children, careers, sports, education, future plans, or another aspect of their lives, causing damage to the trust and intimacy of their relationship.
Marriage is designed by God to be a place of deep intimacy and "oneness." For this to be possible, we must be completely surrendered to our mates and not hold anything back. The total sharing of our lives brings intimacy and fulfillment in marriage.
The Law of Purity
In the beginning of time, God intended marriage to be a place of total "nakedness," physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, without fear or shame. This is the condition Adam and Eve enjoyed in Genesis 2:25. They were completely exposed before God and before one another. In that condition, they shared themselves totally in an atmosphere of intimacy and openness. That is God's picture of a perfect marriage relationship.
God designed the nakedness of marriage to include every area of our lives. Physically, we are to enjoy our bodies together sexually with optimum pleasure and oneness. Mentally, we are to share our thoughts with one another without fear. Emotionally, we should be able to share our feelings without being rejected or embarrassed. And spiritually, we should be able to pray and worship together in the most beautiful and intimate way.
As you commit to create an atmosphere of purity for your home, seek God's forgiveness daily for your sins. Although none of us is perfect, we can be forgiven by the blood of Jesus. Purity in your relationship will allow love and intimacy to find their deepest and most beautiful expression.
As you begin the New Year, make a commitment to work at your marriage relationship as never before. With a willingness to obey God's commandments, you can live in a marriage where love and satisfaction are the rule and not the exception. The year 2000 can be the best year of your marriage, and it can keep getting better and better!
This article courtesy of Marriage Today with Jimmy and Karen Evans. For more articles and great resources please visit: www.marriagetoday.org
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